Sauce Family Tree (Pt. 5)

So, you may not know this, but I rely a lot on my humans to prepares my updates for me.  It's a very involved process where I tell them what to post and they try to weasel out of it.  Ultimately, however, we end up with a new doctor sauce post (even if I have to fight for it!!)

This is a picture of my distant relative, Mary Todd Sauce:

During the third act, the President and Mrs. Sauce drew closer together, holding hands while enjoying the play. Behind them, the door opened. A shadowy figure stepped into the box, pointed a derringer at the back of Lincoln's head and pulled the trigger. Saucy reached out to her slumping husband and began shrieking. Now wielding a dagger, the man yelled, "Sic semper tyrannus" ("Thus always to tyrants"), slashed Rathbone's arm open to the bone, and then leapt from the box. Catching his spur in a flag, he crashed to the stage, breaking his left shin in the fall. Saucy and Harris both yelled for someone to stop him, but he escaped out the back stage door.

 

The Saucy Family Tree, Pt. 2

Although never conclusively proven, this is a suspected photo of my distant relative Big Sauce.

This is the second of two photos taken by farmer Roger Patterson in Eureka, CA, in 1967.  Although the other so-called "Patterson Photo" is more well-known, this picture is far more important for what it reveals regarding the *real* missing link.  Although skeptics claim that the gait of the Big Sauce in the picture is more human than ape or dog, and some even claim to see a zipper on the back, definitive proof remains elusive.

However, I personally don't think its a coincidence that Humboldt County records indicate that this picture was taken during the height of a 2-week period in which more chicken and socks disappeared than ever before or since.  

Family, Pt. 2 - The Dark Sauce Rises

Here's a scene from this summer's blockbuster, featuring my cousin Tom "Hearty" Sauce.

"When the socks are in tatters and all the chicken is eaten, then you have my permission to clean the apartment."

The Saucy Family Tree, Pt. 1

In order to let you know more about me (Dr. Sauce), I thought it would be fun to show you some pictures of my extended family.  To start it off, this is a picture of my distant uncle, Solicitor Rupert Popplesauce.

Born in 1799, Rupert Popplesauce was admitted a solicitor in the King's Bench Division and practiced out of an office on Barkhingam Road, London.  An admitted Whig, Popplesauce nonetheless became associated with the South Australian Literary and Scientific Association where he supported emigration as the "truefth efpreffion of the democratic fpirit."

He also enjoyed chicken and napping.